little trinkets

I barely get to familiarize

my lips, teeth, soft palette worked their way through

as I made effort to pronounce your name

one single syllable, maybe two



you sent me to the moon

my intentions was to reciprocate

I read your colour, your portrayal, identity

innate and the acquired

details I once recovered and worship, I grasped

bittersweet

"not going to let you in"

and you're not going to run away



you apologized on your morning breath

we're all of the same mechanics

I like it when we bubbled up in this space

nothing cuts through like a blade

this mysterious land of blue

we found each other

like how we found our pasts



perhaps that kiss

indicates a touch of tender

perhaps, all that a of thought - an act
                                     we strive to make exist

x-axis

we lined and formed a curve, of the same axis

just so our eyes won't meet

our bodies won't touch

our hearts won't skip



bathed under the sea of sound

syncopation, leaps and unpredictability - a rebel,

a warm crowd

subject, and the distractions

we hope to be drowned



boy you have no idea

my gargantuan thoughts of the romantic

how they engulf one like a tidal wave

boiled under this lid of a pot

my treasures to be kept but found overflown



just like how we gain,

and loose control





my subconscious was called

none other by you -

and all supported courses of distraction



wish I was the one

standing next to you

in that poor formed curved line

Celebration

The celebration of the existence of one being

all crossed within the interpretations of perception, and self worth

the very idea of objectification - not only under the scopes of feminism

you and I have became the by-products, bricks of the wall

the web of capitalism



Where do our paths cross, with this fluctuating frequency

I'd prefer to soar high, or crawl under




so that's how I ended wandering in the woods, with my shadow

Specifics I

Icelandic Skyr
194 Icelandic Krona
5.215 Malaysian Ringgit

Some did their research, some observed 

you hear them from the tourists barging into that supermarket chain Bonus, 

conversations in bars, dinner tables, also camp sites

within the presence of one (1) foreign guess, at least

Then I told myself - in days where I had to refrain from a splurged meal, 

a skyr would be best for me

I've heard of stories - how every Icelandic household stocks at least a plain flavoured skyr in the fridges

I'll drop by grocery shops so that I could get extra skyrs with me

just so I could express myself the way they are familiar with 

to my new friends

actually I do not know if that makes sense - giving them love the way they know best

via tubs of skyrs

how minimal 

I've heard much more from what everyone else from the other parts of the world talked about

I've heard of how it used to be only plain skyrs available in the markets, back in the days

I've heard of how skyrs are made before mass production took place

where children get to be fed daily, so that they grow strong bones and teeth

Of course, there were those days where I buy myself some bananas and two tubs of skyrs, 

made my way to the line and pay my carefully optioned diet with a credit card

whenever I think of the times I spent with skyrs in public spaces,

I can't be bothered to think that I've been spoilt with the best of my senses

with as much skyrs I could possibly have 

while I was in Iceland

Earth

"Just put your feet on the ground"

That, (was how) I was invited by the endless dawn of what summertime has to offer.

I stood in the middle of no where with 3 other of-the-same-kind that I've just met.

I forgot how we came to meet, of the sky and earth, mileage and wind force, velocity...

and the speed of light.

Thoughts surfaced on the mere corner of one's eyes, when promises to the self was made. 

Silent as all curses are taken measures to be prevented - 

I need no grounds to have my existence marked, for this, this promise I made to myself, 

would be enough to feed my hunger, the depth of my imagination.

When I opened my eyes and absorb upfront,

this land, the lava fields and the vast of space - the physical, had me welcomed like a mother ship.

I twisted, tossed and turned in disbelief, somewhat like one of those sleepless nights,

yet a voice whispered so clearly, to my ear,

"just put your feet on the ground"

recognition

those sitcom parodies sounded very nostalgic

my source of happiness, derived from the contentment of decoding messages

topped by the familiar extremes of simple indulgence

of sodium packets and capitalized coffee chains



today I sit on a rather different realm, creating different experiences

it has nothing to do with lessons, since each page

is a brand new breed that writes his own column

long live - doesn't lead you to a goal



I can't help but to not be absorbed by the after effects

consequences I once hand painted

they glided through air, without my control

as I sat firmly on the ground, my roots retained



I am then in love of myself, the more comfortable of my own skin

darkness prevails

as I smiled and

butterflies

The morning I woke to you

my hand cupped on your shoulder

you sleep like a gentle gaint

breathing through your calmest nodes

             you never liked the sun too bright

I absorb,


as I take pride in your happiness





I remember how you kissed my forehead

manifesting the actions of love

onto a new found subject

skillful, you were


walls fall apart

I forgot of how to speak





that morning

our fields overlapped

you picked a flower from the ground

one that I told you about

hence one that I resemble in your faded shades


I wonder how much it came with a meaning

I wonder where they stood



pass and present juxtaposed with a tinge of newness

rebuilt, as we forget



I cannot recall

how nonsensical your speech sounded

before we get to move on to our preferred, comfortable zones








it then came back,

a dried, well kept flower

with a load of memories

recovered, like singing in the woods

I wondered again

how much was it traded for

to be again, manifested as a symbol of distinction



maybe that is what you were out for

and maybe, I was out roaming to be killed

Dream Sequence

I fell in love with a musician

a bright, serious player

his eyes on his loved one

        he feeds her endless devotion

His space adorned with no symbols 

plainness      if any

for the traces left is built in another dimension

one that pulses innate 

one that trigger midnight moans

you would know why

if they could be visualized

such tender ears to be loved

I beamed 

knowing that we speak the same language

Gripped and let loose

smiled as I adored 

your undivided attention

     not to me

but our language

our common ground

His thoughts, centralized

in the core of a purpose

indeed, to pursue one love

seems like the only thing one can achieve

I fell in love with a musician

he feeds her endless devotion

my weakness

lays between the lines -

I fell for you, my dear one

Untouched

Hush is our language

between golden bays, a mirrored reflection

and a distance that couldn't be measured


I fight with gargantuan strength

maybe too much for my existing gauge

I then forget where I stand,

my doubts not answered


have I forgotten of how much I despised to love?


My nest I build upon shall be revoked

for it will never be left admired

of such tender touch to be used, and to be reused

An inability, a conflict never resolved



Please forgive me

Swell

in a brink of being denied,

you shout and cried to be heard 

you curved like a ball in the corner to be noticed 

everything awfully possible, maybe 

but they hide in your head

the probabilities, the shades 

no, darkness 

they never rise, only linger

they never see light, 

how familiar

you are told to remain your poise

like a peacock 

composed, at least

what are we trying to achieve

what do we intend to become

because we are supposed to 

according to the Gods, the norm, or the authorities 

but you, dear one

you came to me like a shooting star

where I caught you falling

that moment I had my head tilt up

September Rain

Blue skies we bed, as we exchanged our last vows

there is no eternity,  no long lasting love

just a full stop to halt all progression



like silence but not really silent


Tears flow like a stream, naturally

though cause unknown

Romantics are the ones best in denial

like you and I






I love you
you said


Part of me believe, it's true


Part of me questioned, why should the fact be acknowledged,
when it is only entitled to be denied



I would like to tear myself apart
just so nothing made sense

and then you will notice

what it takes to put you and I
together





And now we shall exit

forward via the hallway

Just so you know,

miluji tě

Dandelion

I remember what you said, not

But the tone, and the breath behind it

Not sure if it was tailor made, just so you could run away

You were swift, you think

Convenience, hit and run



Moonlit me



Guess I lost it all to myself

home run; a grand slam


cause I know well, we lose each other

and died on the couch after we stabbed ourselves,

after the long, sweet smooch

of sweethearts




that,

I knew

was the last time that I'll ever get to see you

Percy Anderson

The only reason I cried was probably because I found out that it was all real.



A mere projection of the pure and most innate. It travelled through space, greeted strangers, possibly friends.



And when you sang with the only way that I could recognized, it feels like the sky is falling down.
Tumbling, like rocks on my body.



Because it is a story about us. Apologies, lines and frequencies, regurgitated.
We printed pages, so we shall not be too hard on us. On ourselves.



You teared, I was going to wipe them away.








so maybe next time you won't leave

a pinch of salt

I cannot encrypt

thoughts behind the laughter

when you stringed a smile

your eyes, tense

I was never designed to be there for you

to share your pain

we were grouped for we know gluttony

I am, thus, a floating carcass on the surface of superficiality


Apologies flicked our shoulders

our eyes couldn't meet

if this is all I am(you are) to be defined

I shall again burst into a thousand pieces

throw a prejudice and nobody shall struggle

your judgement will be always precise

your wishful analysis, please


We deserve more of the sun

so that you can be shaded

so that I can be nurtured

I wonder, if that day will come

when the moon will sink and forever

hide her appearance

our weight shall be freed

shield of gold

Shield under you sleeves as I traverse

free pass gained, no restrictions

we shall love without conditions

without fear




Because I learn that love has no flaws

we shall soar and shed the unnecessary

when you created a space

an invitation to the unknown

instantly, we were unleashed from results,

orientations




I camouflaged colours

to what seems natural

so that it would take you an extra mile

to feast and harness


it was rewarding

for the play of emotions to be protected

blessed be, by our creation

formed like burning hydrogen



an impulsive chemistry churned

is a gift I shall shower you with



because love has no flaws

poppy seeds

My principle is not to replicate

fashionable expressions, perceivably par for the course


it is all about individualism, all about me,

righteousness written bold and loud

everyone had a fair chance of participation



a faint pulse beats

the synergy of our coexistence sometimes amazes me

a wise old man brought me news

no honey, I'm not paying you extra attention

we've had our fair share of secrets



the sun announced his time of the year

reflected on the lines I sketched

I don't need a calender -

it is the right time, now

while I recalled our last conversations








that bit of a moment

I put up a weak smile - consequentially

triggered by an inner gesture


we knew

eponymous: a cycle

intensity lingered

like a cell block

perhaps a disturbed frequency

      swooshed across the bushes

the fine particles of minerals, dispersed

to be remained nameless

the cry of a phantom




vows exchanged

witness unfold, bows untied

I live the moment

but the golden rule, whispered

is to remain faceless

kissed your lips then I open my eyes

a faceless figure with its arms held firm, wrapped around me




why leave behind

blood trails and pins, clues possibly

oh you're so charming

very much attractive

I don't know who we are

nor where the voice originates

should you just die and then let live

posthumously, legacies of the incognito

of consequences

a mere preference, maybe







which is why

you bleached, up to the roots

as I cupped its face

carving nought into sense

bird, floats

I've had the longest dream

a long, winding path to take

not an illusion

though many times, we tend to go too far

this world we live in

couldn't contain our thoughts of the bewildered, perplexed

strains of imaginations



having spent most of the time in life

to be immersed in plots

never lived

that is why you touched skies, the unreachable

the moment you have it translated into physicality

you have to start from crawling

naked, and shamelessly

plead as you gain



now all one can do is

breathe, and live the present

staggered breathing

I smell lead (was it?)

out of the thin air

breathing difficulties

attacked by a sting, yet

pungent and powerful



were you so gentle

slipped in like a feather

disguised in forms, for the imaginative

for all you've known

I've waited, over spans of seasons

just like how you did

writing yourself stories, in that particular fashion

spasms, at that point of life

probably never again,

'love',

you repeated













when I see you

I shall see sunshine

I shall give you love, I saved


and before I can hurt

I'll run away

时差

看你领先  超越我的时空

你作主 

你 天空破晓

你 懒洋洋 吃午饭

你 工作 认真的模样

你 指挥的声音

你 入眠前的 叹气

只能一直在前方

你回头   我往前

你依然随行

看的看 信的信

喜欢的喜欢   

自在的自在

我说 方向迷茫  

因为 我们好比在旅行

一起旅行

就这样并肩走着

格外的空间  乐

  

你回头  我往前

对未知  可以合拢

不需于你共存

重量减轻

依然可以往前

可能  我比较喜欢

看着你的背 

去跟   去追

你回头  我往前

终于

我默念你的倩影

stoic-a-cuppa

I loved you and that shall be kept in the box

sealed and buried 

sentimental somewhat

stand up for the light - not

it was bitter, though about to lose sight

all in between bitter, and tasteless

you and I are not immaculate

flaws lay naked

for story tellers -

writing plots should come close to churn 

an ability of clairvoyance  

so many window panes I've sat beside

to each, I saw you in a different glow

you are my lead actor

I am your electric sheep

beautiful distance

you caught me, just before dawn

birds were chirping

a squeak of excitement

my camouflage made it sound louder

I remained silent

you must not sense

then I wrote a note and stick it on my wall

in blocked characters

before joining the birds

the best transition of reality I had 

defined scapulae

thaw speculations

thaw accusations 

pure and light as a dandelion 

I was lifted by your existence

moments left alone 

moments created with imagination

savoured well

one that only the creator could scrutinize 

not all serves to be classified 

this is an expression, a verb

nomenclature could be an obsession

in sets of numbers, you became my complex

I shall sing you a song

a tune that wears the name of the anonymous 

my thoughts will be transmitted

unleashed, faraway

cumulus

let's stay together

I vocalized

You lazed on the couch as you read, you remained silent.

Then you throw me a glance, and a smile so faint,

okay, but I'll have your room.

purple rouge stained ceramic cups

floor lamp lit, perpetual good nights

books laid high and low, surfaces and corners

sometimes they grew legs

occasionally piled up laundry bags

a day or another, we mess our sheets

wine glasses and that bottle of whiskey

one day I woke up in my former room

with evident sunlight

you were sleeping soundlessly 

as I reached 

we lurk in our shadows

I know nothing about you

to live with the patterns of an endeared and the unknown 

you're not a subject, not a material

no apparatus, no measurements involved

you're here

part of my picture

your control, your judgement 

you read too much, you dictated 

I see myself when you were staring at the mirror

was I been given too much freedom?

a strange energy clouded within

no, we don't talk about everything

maybe anything, but not everything

I apologized when your eyes shut, as you laid peacefully

motionless, apart from your breathing

I've never learnt how to let in

even not required, between you and I

you are full of tact

I stood opposite the grain 

I am under your full sentence

In our condition, goodbyes are not essential

one day I travelled to your waves

the only way I could speak to you

I took your hand and lead you to the space

we once lived in

it was not possible for us to meet up physically

I didn't walk that path you've cleared for me

a silent route

you were the reason I stood up

then, you became an obstacle 

it was strange

I came to tell you in a dimension, a relevant one

I smiled

I was murdered, before I get to apologize

hyperdia

Sound of your heart beat

smell of your skin

that touch of you lips

your fingertips

they used to be my lullaby

you know I'm a romantic

always crying far from reality

tears were never meant to be shed a worth

generously squandered

to the sea

was that the fragment we've anticipated to own?

I closed my eyes and tried to greet you

It was natural, it was predictable

but I cannot seem to forget what you always bring along with

it was natural, it was predictable

Gauge not, I cannot tell

what is this

how do I come to have you missed

Let us kiss

I'll send you to the sky

signed and sealed

laid under a granite

is a piece of paper

crinkled, torn and shrunk

after rain and shine


inhibitions set free, documented

forgive my opulence

my dreams are merely like yours

they shoot like a skylon, unknown to the unknown

know not of edges and curves

it is these moments that I am sensitive to reflections

shadows

illusions

are you my voice

sinking within the depths of soil

were you trying to talk to me

were you stealing me away

off the shelf?





I only wish that you do not loathe

you do not hate

of what I cup with my hands





undelivered 

light from the window pane

good morning

eyes wriggled under the lids

a gentle call from the morning sun, unmistakably 

an intersection of references

you were there

real, touchable

sitting on a wooden chair, on my right

you said something, something encouraging

you smiled, like the sun

and of course, backed by the generousity of his light, very much lucid

I can't tell if it was a dream; I drive them manual - usually

but I was happy to see you, it was... believable

if that is how you chose to pay me a visit

if that is how you have your deepest intentions conveyed

I got it, and it stays close to me

eyes wriggled under the lids

enveloped by warmth of a certain temperature

it was human, it was soft

it was the sun and you, maybe

without a doubt 

lake grandeur

Pressured put on both quads

knees bent slight

I played you in the mind 

you accessed to leave

just so I go few inches shorter

I smiled

the gentlest that I could remember of 

smooth like butter

this is how I will have you stored

first hand experience now transmuted via lens

it felt much better

to put yourself away from a solid presence 

and one day I can play you to life

it would be interesting to watch

it was nil but a mistake 

I'll see you at the other side

graceful rigor

I wasn't chasing

no, this is not a chasing game

already lopsided, yes, sensible -

but I can not fathom

then an equation formed, a reaction

inside, I was searching

searching for you

A consequence observed

our worlds written to part

sides overlap but never the whole, like egg whites

little things we hear about each other, without the intention

reaching out to you wasn't meant to be going against the odds

I was calling for you

that spurred a life, itself

I will be always left along those

perimeters you marked

cautious,

measuring outcomes

...I won't do you harm

can't you see?

there are no rules to play by

just what the gut says

what the heart says

and there, so much more to find out 

about you, and how you do it

say, how you fly without looking back

or how you like your bed to be made

as simple

can't you see?

a state of mind

you studied

you ought to know 

girl's in anguish

and you did it anyway

reminded me of an unpleasant stream

unnecessary to be stored

was it been budged from?

too occupied to find out

or maybe, far numb from it

used to it

no, rarely do you get to know

a freeman does all that he wants 

included the not-wants

you speak like you are always in control

tactfully, almost consistently

not that I'm not willing to perceive

it just made me wonder if we've ever had our interests overlapped

some moments recalled

hardly a sign of effort

no one had to act like it;

it just didn't matter

anything more that I ought to know?

possibly

is there always something behind what's observed?

possibly

I'd often dream of being a director but I'd never wish to fit 

my thoughts in your head

while the frequency fluctuates

wasn't my intention supposed to be in line with my conscious

then the subconscious?

in the evening

I washed my face

refreshed my memory of how you look like

covertly, dancing to myself

hoping that you'd not lament of getting older and chubbier

only if that applies

vivid coloured jersey

those eyes

you have her eyes

shaped like a crescent

hers strong and rich

yours laid deep in a blue myth

both effortlessly kindred

my mind wandered

they came together

how mystical


your picture must have been faded, in my head

when you let it flow, when it is required - it does

just as the others in life

maybe all that is present are merely symbolic

a form, an object, the tangibles

just as how I gazed at the thin paper stack before dawn

might as well wish you good night, watch your eyes close, then off the lights



those eyes

I remember

when they smile

they speak of a beautiful, graceful language



strange, I thought

strange for me to have that picked up

mid-air waltz

"she emerged from the thin air

like a feather from the sky

the bird had long returned to its nest

the feather, now,

resting on my palm




when he speaks within a two-way communication

it reminds me about you

was it about creating an image, an idea of how you'd paint

a picture of yourself

or just truly an embodiment of a direct translation

the same plane of a different angle, you said



when he speaks to himself, intrapersonally

it reminds me about myself

how a piece of tile fall onto another, and another

how a drop of dew could cause a ripple

how peculiar could one be expanded



how can we possibly manifest a being with our differences

is this how the posterior and the anterior coagulate?

it is a product of a craftsman, ultimately ——

standards and aesthetic values set aside

though I'd prefer a touch of distinction, or maybe distortion

which was observed in him, designed




she asked if she's weird

that class of a categorical approach

I said no but she was different

less than strange but more than what capitalism creates

that sort of shadow you came across arbitrarily

and of course, I only blurted no"







after writing, left pondered

seek and ye shall find

clear blue skies in the morn

as windows were pushed open

got myself in tact

direct, in contact

the smell of the woods

a mild fragrance of the trees

I bathe in you, refreshed by warmth

you were there with me, though a different dimension

we were within

the same share of existence



because I was encouraged

I've decided to show you some seeds

seeds that you could plant

and grow fruits, if not flowers, if nurtured

you might not be typically fond of them, it is after all a metaphor


maybe a ball of moss, in your words

that would put the widest smile on your face

priceless



again, I feel like singing

one that I can not contain within

realization surfaced as I sync with the present

saved by honesty of my own, I was

my thoughts, regarding you


simple, they were

simple as a single measured unit

a small sigh as I recalled the sky so blue

followed by a smile




two tablespoons of brown sugar

and the sound of a sip of macchiato

we were aligned

as the stars were

I knew I've had you missed

water in an irregular triangle

hands covered with dirt

on the palms and its surface

under the nails

fingertips scratched

swelling hands in repetitive action

the wells are dried

12 foot, 16 and a 21

sources to be picked - not traceable 

with bare hands he never stopped

in desperation, he panicked 

not possibly drilled 

we all knew

but he continued

all that he is capable of

hands covered with dirt

dig to anticipate

water source, or to bury

the exhausted mind cannot tell

the action never stops

he should hope, he should jump

he shall not stop digging

irregularly, non-chronologically 

scraper

the heart is a citrus fruit

wrapped in a sac

a labour in silent

prayed to be taken care off


earlier today

one felt like it has been shredded, peeled

not afraid, but indeed

it ached

as I receive




an emblem I picked up

a picture

much love revolve around you

smiles, sincerity and of genuine

faces and a beaming glow

albeit your preference towards soliloquy

I admired, it stung and I remained rooted

you deserve what's best



I am alone too

not as rich

conditioned to be strong and impregnable

kindness charged, in an attempt to convert me

I am left armed, and unarmed





quietly

when nobody intrudes

I think of you and I smile

I smile

code

Can't you tell

the times he came to you in excitement

his spirit, light and lifted

how many copies of love letters he had receive

hand written

how many love songs dedicated

how many gifts declined

how much distance made clear

you are not my only one, my dear

7389

When I witness how much love you're capable of

it was receiving, calm and soft

white flower petals

less cold, less cold than our climate

I was untouchable

did I made peace with that?

Oh, untouchable

standing out is always my strength

less cold

I can tell

times he came to me with excitement

his spirit, light and lifted

it was twice

twice worth of initiation 

that is your labelled price

7389

secret chamber

Back to your window seat

after your daily adventures

you smiled so generously

a space for you to let free

then you head back to your window seat

where I'm framed in the lower third of your composed frame

hiding in the bushes, under the clouds, 

amongst the blue

base of the sky scrappers

but traceable, always

by you

You've pierced itno my subconscious, I registered

when I could recall your image

imprinted within the landscape
of my oneiric ocean

as if you came back with a warm touch, I could discern

gently cuddled, while I sleep

you were whispering 

trying to convey

all that you refused to translate via audible decibels

you can not be naked enough to confront

to have me stabbed, even with attempts you've almost succeeded ——

with my glow

because, love

I see sunshine when I see you

I wept as I slept

knowing that I will not receive

messages you intend to leave

we are flybirds, freemen 

chained and shackled not,

yes you, and I too

maybe worthy a keep, we thought

if I have that value

if you could find me useful

Remember, love

you can murder me, if you choose to

I gave you my word

I am open, fervour

controlled and vulnerable

trustable

trustable, come what may

as you and I continue to align

i'll make you coffee

The universe of our creation

is filled with floating islands

spaces, image of the negative

earth, soil and water, wind,

fire

free

you and I are children of the prototypes,

who claimed whoever we want to be



We are not specimens of a written testimony

our dynamic is not a law, reproduced

but by nature of a circumstance

silent agreements sealed and sounded

a sip of melancholy -

from a ceramic teacup

I fancy our quirk, over a weekend bench






My dear,

my peculiars you have to tolerate -

       barely an eyebrow raised

were they colourless to you

were they unlovely to your perceptions

were they a chamber of reasons for your kindness to take place

I'd like to apologize

but I fear of misunderstanding and its sorts;

my quantified reactions


I fear of losing our space, once built

losing us, losing you




A sip of melancholy

I fancy our quirk, over a weekend bench

tristeza

Sadness is a puddle

I found myself in

drenched in the middle of a down pour

as I smile, eyes closed

not in joy but I indulge

a pain I struggle to kiss



You were walking in front of me

as I tailed

as you were leaving

lacrimal drainage is only of a consequence

respiration, absorption

what the heart feels

a sound amplified through the layers of peel

it was audible

so much that I had to tell you



She oozed like a tidal wave

denied sound of the cause and effect

she stung so fiercely that I can only immerse

my other kind of euphoria

I am sad



Extra mechanisms should halt

sincerity leads my steer

I sometimes wonder where I stand

soul, heart, and a pair of eyes

you know me too well, I fascinated



as my sadness overflew

Closer

I am here

just as you are

I believe the collision of molecules did take place

when you think of me

it wouldn't harm if I were not to know

like how I do it, maybe

buckets and buckets of thoughts

silk-like

brushed on my skin

when you decided to drop by and say hello

when wrapped with that identifiable warmth you exuded


I wish I could see you

have you held

manifest affection


say no more

I am here

just as you are

My skin is soft as yours

Tillandsia L.

Once there was a girl

tripped all over a boy

begging him to love

he stayed untouched

an inequivalent state of a tug of war

dark over light

sun over moon

unrequited 

I am a story teller

I tell stories through my actions, not words

a mime, or a clown

inward, essentially 

I love having stories collected

secrets on a deathbed

obsession of ideas of the obnoxious

love notes dispersed with the wind

enthusiasm concentrated at the front of dilated pupils

I pocket them soundly 

into my bloodstream, my rhythm

My collection of stories don't recycle

they emanate with my being

as solemn as a vampire

as flamboyant as Gothic architecture

I believe I've always pulled off a good show

my prospects well entertained

some stayed, some came back for more

they only care to be amused, and delighted

you see

My stories need not to be told

It is what I do that matters

sometimes when reflections overlay, I overspilled, side tracked and

started feeling for myself


I became an audience for my own fable and

empathized,

sorrow and ridicule of my own

every time I do,

I feel like dying


just so I could be given a new life





Helianthus L.

When she talks about him

her eyes sparkled

her thoughts so fluid

her body expressed

organic, altogether

there's no need to hide

you know what they say?


she's in love

I can hear you breathe

We tend to bloom, beautifully

when silence seeps

I guess that is how it is defined

our relationship



Sometimes observations don't justify

the ready made, the instant

resolved to a compromise


no

i refuse taking steps behind

the thawing subconsciousness could be revolting

iced with a sceptical interpretation



Maybe you loathed it

that's why you remained silence

so say we tend to bloom when silence interfere

dissected an awkward philia, of irony


I can never see myself in their shoes

hers and his

just because I am fond of you

is that so?

aren't all of them fond of you too?



I guess that is how it is

our relationship

空房出租

墙角自个儿的背影

你在偷笑

镜头加个伴

笑的喜悦

打从心底



与你的最爱

乐在其中

是自由 钦佩 挥霍

你的模拟 你的选择

你翱翔



我应该像是住在你心里

三个月

那小小空间

和你共眠

租金是肉体与精神

因为 爱  情绪

太珍贵

（你必须应该会  识破我的借口）



有一天

如果你走了



就让我心酸一阵子

哪怕你不再回来

残月

花裙  有着恋的情节

今天的双重角色

可以蚀自己

也可以被你 轻轻地褫



这个双重身份

走了白天夜晚

场景  好比在那公园一样

我披上的是  黑皮夹克

打上窄领带

等  在长凳上  所谓

期盼的到来



是我搞的古怪？

你依然不见踪影

无法相遇



离开时

回头望

一个铭记在心

Wilt

lights on

She was wrong, it was deliberate

how can I ever express disappointment

when you have nothing to begin with

it would make zero sense,

invalid

you want it vague, you want it non-conventional

you want to cut yourself, you bleed

you immerse in torment, intense, in vain


remember, void


I remember





lights off

weakening, dampened

I should have listened, your intentions

known better - a hideous expression

I didn't come to make anyone a fool




you can murder me

quietly,

thunderously

necrophilously



a secret I shall keep

hush

I wilt in the dark

you can trust me

Nonlinear Narrative

"...he has a mind of his own"

said she, eyes looked away.

Took it quickly, with a smile.

A slight gaze of melancholy.



So much resemblance, when actions were mimicked

as sunlight got reflected from side mirrors

to the grapevines

heat trapped all in a ball, air so humid

voices and the bodies of one and another, connected and re-enacted,

soccer match cheers and barbecue parties

this sight before me,


I didn't run away







calm and soft,

amongst the worldly vibrations, perceptions, interceptions

I think of you

gently, surpassing all dimensions

I'll hook your arm and

walk you home

to see you fly

of which you belong to

Time Warp

You (must have) had a very, very kind heart


you still do

I furrowed





You (must have) came a fair long way

masked your face with a thousand appearances

     murked your features so no one can tell

feels like I've known you for the longest time

though I don't remember you being aloof

     consistent with a form



can I bathe myself in your history,

then your vision?

I can then mend your wounds, nurture you strength

give you love






your earth-toned shoes don't even look the same from those years

of course they don't

change is inevitable






I fought for light years

to see you again

traded treasures, memories, an eternity

finally, timely








I was told that we could fall in love again

Melodious

Then fingers started to tingle

body cries to be cracked

joints on the back, the limbs

would you be kind enough to have them identified?




You parallelized with my voice

not a dual tone,

but amongst the conversation between my body and I

where space was only meant to fit

        a being of solitary, fragmented solitary

non-intrusive, guard shed



was it the very image

like a spell, cast from a green of a rare bred

computerized when we first met,

coded and carved skilfully, as if designed as an implant


or was it all only played on the screens of the mind;

the abrupt enemy




Such nights

I wonder if you tried to have thoughts conveyed

as I did when I had you acted out, a character

to keep me shielded

from the oust of one of reality's take

extracted from the book of infinite hypothesis, probability






As she peeks

page two hundred and seventy one

a short fable flipped


you're here with me in my arms

you hum me a lullaby,

as I kiss you goodnight

No Sugar Added

Chasing your footprints as I pant

every time you leave

I chased as if its the best of me

picked myself up as I fall

inconsistency and fluctuations

No hesitations, as I chase






I would

kiss your forehead as you procrastinate

tuck you to bed if you had a bad dream

anonymously

just like how I had that moment frozen

having you all to myself

parted from a glass door

no judgement

no slither

no satire

an audible heartbeat






All I have to remember is

how it was

when we just stood and watch each other

Disability

If (R)omance is a fabrication, rooted out of the basic frame of human emotions - 

It is the by-product of capitalism, consumerism, perhaps, The New Hollywood. 

Not love, we are all born for love, just romance.

Lounge music played, progression of chords performed but to soothe your ears, a convention.

Wine glasses cheered, candle lights, an ambiance reproduced.

Her conversational eyes and a smile of sunshine - no money can buy,

his suit and tie, a reflection of honnête homme

selectively, we chose to be.

As classic as it is, we sing praises, write of poems - exploit art, via expression. 

A treasured vehicle, we claim.

Structure, is what I gain from my education of sociology. Mass produced is what defines most of us, even emotionally.

How true am I from my core, that speaks none of mimicry and imitation.

Unidentifiable, therefore not a standard.

I am born normal, physically and outwardly a norm.

Less do I know, of which that cannot be seen, is left to be discovered.

My disability, for instance.

Albeit an ardour for love.

Correlation

I took a stroll into the woods.

Deep breathings exchanged, steadfast were my footsteps. The sound of a drizzle took over, clearing the thick haze that was lingering. 

There were whispers, murmurs about exploration and being lost. Some gave warnings, threw cynical laughters, imploded grievous cries. Dissonant noises hard to ignore.

I needed it, the rhythm to ground volatility. Chants to be sealed. 

I continued my stroll, deeper into the woods.

An audiation of the inner voice has taken place. The heart speaks, translated by the body, obeyed by the mind.

I saw it, upright, hiding behind an old oak tree.

I walked towards the tombstone.

Not a tinge of fear rose, but curiosity blossomed, like crawling ivies, all over the square stone. It was blank and solid. No carvings, no inscriptions, just dirt, maybe covered by some moss.
It lied peacefully on the ground. Alive, as if it was breathing.

Like gravity, I was drawn to it. 

Hauled, rather.

Is this where my heart pulsates to?

How long do we have left to live?

Tangerine

Some say the rust of leaves

bring you thoughts from afar

be blessed by the weak current of the air

a faint scent to bathe you in disguise



Can I forget where we're grounded on

the identity we baggage along

If I were to pat you after a ten minute gaze

cheekbones, eyebrows, your nose

will you counter with a strike of defense

will you let me in?



To have past and present reconciled

to have love reshaped, and reaffirmed

you came along

as I discovered my attempts

to sense the coarseness of your palms






I love listening to your stories

seeing you as yourself

just sharing the same space with you

when we let the particles vibrate

as they do the talking

when we let the frequencies find its way

to juxtapose, collocate

or to be laid side by side

like our heads



for that

you are my tangerine

one I held dearly in my hands

there's nothing to hide

only to be shone by a pink hue

almost translucent

when I held you my hand

Act I Scene III

My heart sings a song

one that you don't hear of

as I wait

it started to sink in

a sense of familiarization 

as I wait

and I checked

fumbled simple, repetitive actions

book down cell up pivot waist to the side

cell down food munched get Oxford out of the bag

overpowered by distraction

my actions make no sense if I know not my purpose

I am here because 

I am going to see you

that image I've processed over and over again

in the dark room

now I think we have to change the setting

just a tad closer, maybe

did I tell you that your presence is much adored?

oh, yes I did

we can play ourselves as children

a release of our inner child

to run free, run wild and to explore to two's content

like how it would be if we met as kids

when smiles show it all, you see

I cupped a ball of gratitude in my hands

I wish you could see

lose our guards, maybe

we'll catch ourselves there

Nuzzle

How was your day, 

love?

This comes with one (1) compulsory multiple choice question

tagged as a minuscule valued entertainment; non sequitur

if you have preference towards categorization

What I'd answer a loved one,
How was your day,
love?

Your love penetrates my skin, caress while I sleep, 

like sunlight to life 

like vanilla beans pulverized for ice cream

like an intense smooch I wish to perform with you

as gentle as a young stream

innate as I translate my thoughts onto my fingers

then onto you 

What happened earlier

I. welcome back, my dear

II. I intend to walk you home, though I failed

III. I've learnt that hugs could answer questions

IV. I loved how you always give me thrill, deep down

So choose one, get it right and I shall requite you generously

A. I only

B. I and III

C. II and III

D. I, III and IV

E. All of the above

I Asked The Tree

Silence lingered between space

of two fingers wide

of a bottle of fine wine

   that was it

times up, the bell has tolled

come back again when a desired unit of measurement takes place

your heart shall be the gatekeeper

one that is sensible, and pulsates


Silence lingered between space

I wasn't sure of the circumstances

actually, I didn't care

it doesn't matter

after all that information gained


but it was different, you see

a ball grew, formed its existence

between the silence



I halted and you ran away

a spot not too far off

playing with the toys you fancy

kept yourself occupied

when I figured that it is time for silence to lapse

when quietness was absorbed,

finally

there were no embarrassment, no awkwardness and no haste traced

we coexist in agreement

in mutual, of composure





Silence has taken place

with comfort, pillowed between our bodies

La Grande Jatte

I saw him in the morn

I was unusually early

He was tall, with a broad frame

had that look one could easily imagine

     out of a 2-D description

but all I had in my head was you

it was all about you


He snapped away with his equipment

our wavelengths intervened

sometimes beings resonate in very

unique patterns,

but all I had in my head was you

it lead me back to you


When you say great minds think alike

when you share the same catch phrases

identity, associations, or a cuppa

do you label yourself

a class

with an emission of a collective pride and arrogance?

No - he was not an embodiment

but somehow, it was still about you


Of course

sometimes, I wonder if we've lost it

it feels like we're building blocks

wooden and plastic ones

red, blue, and yellow

as the blocks got stacked higher

as the surface expands

as we take turns to participate



Can I see you again

even when seasons change

ligaments torn, bones broken

skins shed and vessels thicken

Displacement

You've lost yourself in a peat swamp

the concrete jungle

a woven web of golden silk

When you swim to the surface to grasp

oxygen

you released self to your subconscious

effortless actions

comfort, familiarity

a modus operandi 

oh don't you deserve a little love

after a saunter in the snow storm

what tops a little pamper 

as some physical experiences

currencies can define

I just wanted to be soaked and grounded, 

you uttered

and there I stood,

forgotten

somewhere in between those lines

Hundred Yard Dash

The voice in my head echoed louder

I recognized, it doesn't differ only on its dynamics

but its depth

trenchant was its tone

sonorous was its resonance


So I drove to the nearest beach I could find

bared my feet and ran to the waters

I called upon your name

worked my intercostal muscles

left you messages

interposed between the abundance of minerals

there wasn't a slight reflection

I guess it had travelled miles and miles

and miles

to an island, maybe

least,

envisioned in my mind



When you think of me

doubt not, it is I

hellos, gentle brushes, or a warm presence

telepathic, maybe - maybe not


only when you think of me







My actions;

those which speak louder than words



I'm missing you

Lay Down

I saw you

standing at the roof top

flag poles within my frame

but of course, a stereo vision

my head tilted up

I started dreaming when you're not around

you were smiling and waving in return

an excited gesture

you looked fairly happy

a reason obtained



An elevation

I smiled, caught myself thinking of you

muscles retained, more light absorbed

chronologically, of cause and effect

what had you left

and what had you taken away



You know, I'm an island girl

I fall in love with sound of waves

and those echoed from gigantic seashells

I become fearless

I become closer to self

I become




that doesn't really matter

I'd like to go with you

wherever is our destination

I wish I could say


how tough could that be?

what is there to lose?

I asked everyday

just so I can paint my imagination

and show you a piece of it

not flashing

just to share

joy I think you might like to see



A bottle of sand, maybe

as I send my thoughts

you'll be delightful to watch

handling woodwork and such

Sea Breeze

We learnt that goodbyes have their moments

each storyteller fights to have their ideas bought and sold

sometimes we contest for a golden ticket

for reasons, to be awaken

to be buried and to be lid in inferno


Perhaps you might say otherwise

you are always about ongoing action

carefree from unnecessary shackles

Lets argue, lets have a debate

and award ourselves

no matter what ends on our plate

I love you like that,

yes, you can't see

your objectified obsession(s), favourite coloured shirt or

favourite memory of intimacy,

I wish they could tell you something




I love you like that,

can't you see

Dusk of Gray

My Greek chorus starts to sing

the women of Argos

as I waited for you beside the lake

there were the earth and the sky

an awaited response

what was I thinking

there's nothing wrong

I smiled to myself

but what was I thinking


You got into your closet

put on your gears

and vanished into thin air

you have one goal, only one vision

your theory of utility

sets a different tone -

for liberation,

is what you pitch for

the greatest value to be protected, and cherished for




And what was I thinking

I have a beginning, and an end written

you remained, strong as a soldier

a ball of light, glowing and reshaping its existence -

stay for little awhile

I held

we can walk a little further down

forget proposal sheets

lets both amalgamate in our abstract landscapes

Somniloquy

Did you just

planted a kiss on my neck,

and one more

within the radius of my third lumbar vertebrate


I like it when you had your presence linger

between my arms, on my bosom

or embraced from the back


I drifted into the subconscious

   with a message intended to be conveyed

you might have had the scent traced

and dropped by for awhile

did you?






with you

I can never stop

no artificial goals nor mechanical motivations

but a heartbeat churned within

what observed was dynamic

gives new life, a fresh perspective

and the depth I could possibly explore

between light, and the dark

and much of the undefined, and undiscovered




stories we've read and regurgitate

standards we've interpreted and imitate

emotions touches our core

to manipulate, resulting submission to be gleaned

I am here

readily donned

so that you can complete your role

played as part of your fable

in this lifetime




I wish I could touch you

without inhibitions

Cliff

It seems that there were lesser existence of humans today

at least, on her surface

even so

Beth had to deal with the usual small talks

those you have with new people you meet, and the usuals

sometimes being quiet seems to be the only solution

not because you are

because you want to discourage


Of course

she could find a handful, or even even more

those she came across as being fond of

it is probability, it is measurable

but at this moment

she would rather be alone

to run away from a lousy framework

that just doesn't fit to be lived through


The other day

when Beth finally get to break out from a collective of figures

such joy

she skipped along the road

when she wins her solitude

as she came to realize

a very familiar expression

which might be a thought

he once shared of





Thank you for teaching my how to fly

Treacherous Whispers

I remember it all

I remember it all about you

how my curiosity was aroused

when you used to utilize your space

it was always the New York Times

those old English text

were you from another planet?

a high tendency, possibly

wasn't too eager, but

I concurred in silence



An illusion, constructed ——


I remember

that frame, so petite

one that I can sense from a sea of crowd

one that I know, if I saw in a foreign street

I would run

as if I've lost my mind


I would run for you





A flashback, rewound ——


fruits or nuts, for cereal

I asked

both

you answered

sounded authoritative

sounded bold, with a tinge of arrogance

clean and precise

like your art


I was intrigued, captured

like a deer, with multiple antlers

in a forest, covered in snow






all about you

as I step forward

all about you

as I had my head turned

wouldn't it be better

if I chose to remain stagnant

in the first place

wouldn't it be better

if I admire you from afar

even if I had my eyes opened

if I didn't get to know this much about you

if I didn't have to find so much of your

pieces along the way

if I didn't have to find out how,

or what I can do about them












it hurts

when I extract myself out of the picture

that feeling

as if your heart shrunk half its size








I wept,

for you are too beautiful

painstakingly beautiful


as I held myself arrested

Red Velvet

Prelude

The storm of heart endured

as its dance evolved

intensified, dramaticized 

A phoenix in sight, form of fire

where will she land

with the fire she begets



Verse 

How can I ever reach you

amidst external disturbance

walls and hindrance

we run free inwards

in our own space of hills, streams and valleys

perhaps we can overlay

share a waterfall or some moon dusts -

in this tangible leeway

maybe an ice-cream, or a comforter


Chorus

if I could freeze time

unfreeze you and I

so many we can explore

so many to create

we can go deep into the waters

we can go high and low, on a ship


snap but pardon me,

I don't see why this can't be ecstatic

come in with me, and I'll show you more

I'll show you more




Bridge

I remember you and the sunlight

you compliment each other

my heart skipped a beat

even if I blush

you'd steal it for your own keeping

and wouldn't tell me so -

my dear, 

it has been awhile

thank you for the flowers,

those you made and kept in your bubble

I'll groom mine and have them handed to you

when the time comes -

お帰り

欢迎回来

吻一个

大衣挂上

咖啡一杯

给你个按摩

给你个拥抱

给你纯情的笑


欢迎回来

给你撒娇

任你奔跑

那天我们在黑暗里

想牵起你的手

与你淘气

哪怕那一秒

接收不对的暗号


欢迎回来

洗个脸

泡个热澡

松懈 在沙发上

说个故事来听

你的童年

心碎的往事

美好的回忆

理想与梦想

对我的爱意 或许

如果你愿意


欢迎回来

舒适的被窝

有张大被

给你安抚 给你暖

给你热情 给你溺爱

也给你 很多空间

想像空间



亲爱的

欢迎回来

Songbird

I wonder if I've ever stayed in your heart

swing on swings of your garden of mystic

all the time when I'm with you

you gave me butterflies inside


I'd like to look into your eyes

with no fear or constraints

have your language memorized

have your scent ingrained



Can I fly with you

into a world we've never been

we can be whoever we want

whoever we like about ourselves

trapped in the form of each

but never poor of our souls


you'll live under my skin

and I'll live underneath your bones

even though sometimes

bodies do hinder -

nonetheless,

I love it when you smile

they speak of something to me

they never lie

and I can not help but to give you more

each time you do

Mist

I stood by the sea

I longed

into a default picture

nothing changes but the colour of the sky

the pattern and sound of waves

the fine horizontal line between sky and water

but most probably, an agitated, intrusive rhythm


I argued

of you and I

didn't know where to go

skirt dried and soaked wet



was it the waves

I thought I heard you calling

you know, me and my imagination



I'm sorry

when I saw you across the waters

I shattered

I cried but it wasn't audible

it couldn't be translated


when my arms held you

I give you love

I give you home

and I give you earth

you gave me warmth

you gave me pulse

you gave me love

and more tears


"Don't ever do this again"
unconsciously expressed


but all the more,

you stood right in front of me

I held you tight

that is all I need to know


that is all I need to know

133, Perry Index

You

doing that thing

within your comfort zone

most times you make yourself happy

since it has became a source that simple, derived

I smiled when you answered

most of the time

You

doing that thing

thinking it was another harmless act

again, repetitively, with consistency 

I could not fathom

it came to me

instantaneously 

I've been stabbed through my body, my flesh

my heart, black holes, see through -

when your world resumed its pace

when the universe picks you up and gives you 

yet another interesting ride

you said nobody's a fool

I am, nonetheless,

a living testimonial for your null hypothesis

you flew away

like I've always liked witnessing

the most gratifying satisfaction I gain

from a third person point of view

if only, I am a spectator

which I shall forever be

utmost absurd

a reflection

you rotting old fool

you'll never learn