I went out to the open sea today
I went out to fish
I went out to face the arbitrary mood swings of what she's going through
I was surprised that I suppressed this little
or rather, I've accepted hurdles to be part of the process
the waves weren't too choppy
just about the right temperature
pillar 36 wasn't our call, but where we were dropped off
just as the school of yellow tail catfish we encountered one after another
the baits we cut and attached
the rising tide
the storm that started up north, then down south
to be sheltered from a pondok
to be sheltered from the bridge I take, every single time I head home
to see the sea birds and little fishes, part of the system
to see floating trash problems often talked about, with a heartache
to smell like sea-salt and sweat
to smell like fish on my fingertips
to play with jellyfishes,gently
to keep my hat on the head when the wind was strong
to imagine anything falling into the sea, myself included
to feel the sun after the rain
to feel heat, reflected from the sea
to be mindful of basic resources like water
to calmly fish a fish out of confident intuition
to make wrong judgement of pulses gauged from the current of the waves
to wind the reel like a clumsy potato
to climb up and down on the little boat
or just being on the surface of the sea, of water
my senses, they overlap
doesn't matter if it was my first or last
it was my present
