fishman

I went out to the open sea today

I went out to fish

I went out to face the arbitrary mood swings of what she's going through

I was surprised that I suppressed this little

or rather, I've accepted hurdles to be part of the process


the waves weren't too choppy

just about the right temperature

pillar 36 wasn't our call, but where we were dropped off

just as the school of yellow tail catfish we encountered one after another


the baits we cut and attached

the rising tide

the storm that started up north, then down south

to be sheltered from a pondok

to be sheltered from the bridge I take, every single time I head home

to see the sea birds and little fishes, part of the system

to see floating trash problems often talked about, with a heartache


to smell like sea-salt and sweat

to smell like fish on my fingertips

to play with jellyfishes,gently

to keep my hat on the head when the wind was strong

to imagine anything falling into the sea, myself included

to feel the sun after the rain

to feel heat, reflected from the sea

to be mindful of basic resources like water


to calmly fish a fish out of confident intuition

to make wrong judgement of pulses gauged from the current of the waves

to wind the reel like a clumsy potato

to climb up and down on the little boat

or just being on the surface of the sea, of water



my senses, they overlap

doesn't matter if it was my first or last

it was my present