Tuesday, August 19, 2025
You and I
Friday, August 1, 2025
Relational
Saturday, July 12, 2025
Scorching Sun
The sun was generous, as we tell from the emitted rays
I walked without looking too far, with my dirt covered hair
freely, like I've owed nothing to anybody
until I see you from a distance
The sun was generous, cutting interactions short
I remembered turning back to watch you leave
I am out numbered, I noticed, I still am - after all this while
My vision blurred as I looked back
I don't remember your faded hair colour
but I realised I still long for your presence - even unobtainable
I remember I feared
you have been always stronger, like masculinely strong
I don't want to be hurt again
you have every capacity of doing so
my guard was built sky high, extending in parallel, as I look back
will there be a time where I will completely forget everything?
why do I have to see you again?
I don't know if you'd ever have good things to say about me
I regret that it is all this fragile
I regret that my expectations were overflowing
I don't know if we'd ever stop acting that we're all fine
The sun was generous, as we tell from the emitted rays
Sunday, June 15, 2025
parting
I would stay away so you can continue to build what's great that you deem
I wish I could be remembered the way I think I would, though again
this is out of my control
The warmth that you express is one that I remembered well,
I wish that you'll be protected that by that very magic itself,
as you continue to soar
Most of the time, it is not about you
I see it, I truly do
which is why when I spoke of for myself, it seemed that we couldn't coexist anymore
for I see clearly, who you are(were)
it does break my heart, love
I could see from the way you look at me
I love you, but I got to go
for this space doesn't look like a place you'd stay
you three have a good thing going,
take it, protect it,
with my biggest heart, I'll take up all that's left
and walk my path
I'll see you again, someday
thank you for your innocence,
and your kindness
your presence trampled my little garden - that is just who you are, to me
if you get to read my words one day
I wish these could land to you, soundly
Saturday, May 31, 2025
委託人
滿滿
為了妳而聚
然而我唯有遠方送上祝福
一個孩子在哭泣 另一個在微笑
雖不算分裂 他們共存在我體內
委託人 身邊觀察
似乎在問我好不好
我不好 被捨棄了有什麼好
一個孩子在哭泣 另一個在微笑
Tuesday, May 27, 2025
freely
as I was waiting,
I picked up flowers spotted at the courtyard, left it on the table
they fell from the sky, probably somewhere up there
things I do to remember moments
you were late, you notified
the pet clinic was crowded because it was a holiday the next day
I waited, and then I saw you
with a new hair colour, I remembered
though it didn't strike as sharp as a topic starter
you were nervous, you looked at the floor
so was I, pretending that I didn't see you
you wore your cap
you had only let down your hair when you are comfortable
then you sat opposite me
you got food, we warmed up slowly - about an hour
before we talked about our purpose of meeting
you were operating in a highly anxious mode
constantly solving problems
before we went into it, you were comfortable enough to take a 5 second eyes off moment
it is true that I do not know you well - as I observe, I realised
when we talked about it, you were focused
there wasn't much room to commune and communicate
it didn't feel like it was mutual, the showing up for each other
perhaps at that point of time, boundaries were already set
I was disappointed
you were prepared to be distant; or at least, not on my side
but my nature was still the same
I quickly took in all you expressed
and I wasn't able to fend for myself
it was a messy talk, we both tried
even that, amongst it all
I was glad that you sat next to me while we did it
I think, that was part of what was real for the both of us
I should have known that it is out of your capacity
everything that I imagined to be
yet, I'm thankful for our encounter
I've never met anyone like you before - just like how you once told me
I guess, I am naturally more liberal than you are
or more attuned to myself
it is fine that you couldn't meet me at where I am, I accept it
and I shall slowly step away, and let time tell
I thought to myself, you made time to dye your hair
(which you always do at that time of the year)
you made time to watch a friend perform
you posted them on your socials
I simply wasn't prioritised
that is your choice
I hope those moments shared are those that you keep with you
it's okay if I am not aware
I will keep my truths to myself
thank you for being my unacknowledged spectrum friend
thank you for sharing little moments with me
you're such a darn-ed person, that is why everyone loves you
no - I don't have to own you despite that
I thank you for allowing, albeit briefly
you don't have to be too careful
if my absence can take away that
I would dim down to make it easier for you
I'm not being selfish
I guess that's how I love
freely
Tuesday, March 4, 2025
quiet mouse
like a quiet mouse, I stood next to you
I know I am comfortable with you
I know I can be myself
like a quiet mouse, my heart beats steadily
and I finally hear it
that little whisper that I might find myself denying
I wish to be with you
and even if I couldn't have that fulfilled
I will still accept it
I will let it settle quietly
while I set sail to see the world
I will let it settle quietly, like a mouse
deep in the bottom of my heart
I wish to be with you