Too Much Coffee

I don't know you

Say, how do I start -



I think I've always liked you

Or rather, used of constructing imaginations over your psyche

your form


And when I get to know you

you seemed like a free spirit

not one that I've recorded previously

nor expected at all


You're almost like a child

worn no guard

reaching out


Funny thing is I got comfortable with your approach

other contrasting thoughts doesn't matter

and when you did what's physical

I wasn't disgusted

I could smell you, in fact

funny, I get to fathom

a male counterpart lost and found I guess


I always wonder how it works for you

Sometimes you just sounded so chirpy

others you stood out like -

what a funny composition


I don't know who are you

maybe you have well hidden intentions

a thousand speculations


but I'm feeling this

saying welcome


just like how I ran to you with a smile under the sun

when I parked my car

it was a warm afternoon, a warm one

that was authentic

I felt freed too


All the good things you say

was to good to be true, sometimes

heck too that, I like you,










thank you for those precious moments

Joanna

Buried in the plot I least traced

You tried, and I think I didn't

Pardon me, you hit me back to square one. I surrendered.



For the longest time,

I didn't know where I was

where I was heading to

I was questioned again,

philosophical

what I want to do, why am I doing it -

and if it all really matters



Crossroads as such encountered

I met you half way

and I thought you were comfortable

or maybe you were not

it was just the lights

then again, a language I attempt to understand

or maybe it was just the lights



What is it this time?

What do I see?




Can I... touch you?

not physically, but can I touch you?

Shoulder Talk

I forgot what it feels like, for I've drawn myself into my very own realm
the one filled with stars, abstracts, dust and turmoil

I remember, leaving was a conscious choice
for your doings are not what I'd agree on
I can not put myself into your shoes

I resist

It is against my sense of being

Let me forgo

So that I will not near you
for you've brought me to places I've never been
wraps donned with thorns

Your unconscious betrays the mask you tried to put

Sorry, I am not who you expect me to be

If you can, hide, hide in any form as you wish

They can take you in for that, go.

Don't return.

Sense of Self

The perpetuator never takes account of his own misdoings.

We are all mindful of who takes credit on what's rightful, or wrong -

If you've made a mistake,

would you apologize to another?

If so, would that be even sincere in the first place?

Which party are you intending to persecute?

Would you rather have it pent up in your external shell now and turn to God for repentance after?

Isn't that too convenient for one?



What is the 'love' for 'peace', minimizing confrontation or even the notion of being asked to 'chill' in this context?

You are just weak and unable to criticize yourself in front of the public. Why can't you just choose to be open about weaknesses. So much about constructive advice, you can not practice what you preach.

Such a weakling.

You work on superficiality instead, given the choice.


Most importantly,

nobody chose to have that pointed out.

Hence labelled as fools (maybe not sinners), rather than victims.


Wait, what was your intention again?

Wings

Of four walls and a pin drop

judgmental eyes with a verdict, awaited

This was only one road out

as if the world is on my shoulders

in the verge of a burst

destruction


xx


I grew a pair of wings

He said,

it is for me to fly


If you were to be in my shoes,

I wonder...

Orderly Fashioned

We met and I really liked you

- just something that I'd never come across

Like spring water in winter

Like rose petals found hiding under the comforter


I've learnt to like you so fast

A fall without the sharp pain

Its something about your smile,

how you speak and how you react,

I guess...

we've talked about it,

even though you might not recall -


And then we had to call a break

I lost you out of the sudden

I was kept aside, I wondered...


When I look back,

I've never forgotten why -


Even after months,

when I see you

donned in your handsome green blazer, paired with your green low cut boots

or in your stone washed top on a clear day


It feels like I've never ever learnt to like someone based on how they express themselves in such manner

Guess I shall have that indulged silently

After I kissed you goodbye

I got anxious of your intermittence of mixology

I liked you again in your shorts

I even liked you again when you smiled - whole heartedly


Falling into somebody should be free

without constrains

without expectations, patterns, systems, order or chronology

this is how I fall for you



Fashioned as such

and such is how I like you so

Intoxicated

Beer

traced on the layer of the humid breath track

the alimentary canal

as sun rise


I tried so hard to recall

after all the trouble

what I care for

and why


If you were to protect me

you and I could have understood what is best for all

but you didn't

you didn't want to make friends in this cruel, cruel world

- that's why I said I have trust issues


So much for being rewarded