Small Town Gibber

Throw me in London

or Beijing

one is almost, always enclosed in their quadratic routines

strive to live

to not starve

          for a progression


My cuts and connection with a specific other

would be as the same from point A to B

           my humanly gibber that might not matter

a fling with a superficial

a connotation of deep emotions

I have been reminded again and again on how I feel for you

yet- standing at this spot

I could only do this much




remember, that you and I once said what's unnecessary is better off to be left alone

not squandered

For a clearer vision:
questions such as

"When are you going to lie in my arms"

should be left aside and never brought up to surface


If only I could claim more of my dignity

be in love with you

but leave when I had to-


It has shown more than anything else

that I've learnt to love you

False Images

Sorry, I stepped on your finger

sorry, I brushed the cuffs of your jeans

sorry, I thought you were listening

I didn't mean it, I mean, going all overboard



This girl needs a weight carrier

even more than she thought of

I mean no harm to anyone

I guest it is better to stay alone, in my burrow

where I and only I belong



Did someone say I was trying too hard

this time

Did anyone said I am too attached to a thought

though I am trying to let it fly high

into the sky



I let myself lose

No you shouldn't take it like how I do because

it's just not going to sink and resolve that way

Leave me,

as soon as you can

You'll never want to see this,

you do not even deserve this, no one does



These delusions I realize -

I didn't mean it

I'm sorry

please leave-

Visual Noise

Noise I heard,

noise that I shouldn't focus, which didn't belong into the picture

you and your purpose

leaking subconscious

sometimes they flow so naturally that you never notice how free you were

how they were pin-pointed with a third eye

if it doesn't fall under you pillars of principle

I could only have that acknowledged


I stood up and concentrated

my purpose as I pierced my thoughts and eyes on what that might be considered as

a sore

                       it never did work anymore, maybe

we were in draught after attempts of being utilized

or being taken advantage of

and while you discover new reservoirs

I tried to beam my calmness

one of us would have to walk away at a point, somehow


And when I caught you off guard

it just shows that you weren't around always

or simply just

never there

barely any guilt traced

so I guess there's no point to keep it treasured

realistically, it might not be the one most worth to be protected


I have friends who love me even more

than my plan A - the calculated attention span invested on you,

my dear.


I don't want you to look sorry

act, or be apologetic, for that matter


You shouldn't be

no one should be

I'll do what's under my control


Love :)

A Thought So Light -

You came from a far away land

nothing within my reach

a land where my thoughts linger

a strawberry field some might have captured


All that I have made up and materialized

in this temporary world

was my rushed intention to create

and direct with my power and control

I have forgotten to become humble

as I stood by sunrise every day

I have forgotten that there is a force, an energy,  a being

larger than I am

and my minuscule worldly matters


I've halted my double duty

until angels remind and gave me a good knock

so much of self execution from one's self you see in others

it comes and goes most often

forms that you least expect -


Love

I will sit and wait for your return

you will play the harp and sing for me

showing me the wonders of this rare, beautiful string instrument

and how you adore it, as you adore me

and I will lie on the ground, just beside you

give you love in return

the way you prefer



I'll see you

in the midst of thin clouds

Me and You

It was never who I am that you are attracted to

but what I have,

what I own.

So that you could be associated as part of the herd

those seen to have so much potential


A self fulfilling journey

an affirmation, maybe.


No trace of concern,

not even an attempt I presume.


You were not there

despite my search

everyone reached out

You watched

observed


As I mirror your output

I may have nothing more to gain from you
     anymore

Physical

A hug is what I can give

as innate, as sincere as it sounds

no matter how much it is twisted and manipulated by the others


I agreed when you said that you are a giver

for I had the same thought of myself, once, in space

sounds like a layer, peeled and reoccurred


I do not crave for love

as much as I love to be warmth and embraced

as much ideas and thoughts of romance I'd like to put into play

No

I couldn't give in

simply because I am unlike you

Subconsciously fitting in gaps each being could do so, for you

beans for breakfast, lotus for lunch,

soup for supper?

I am a fool, I'd say

so is it true that I have nothing to lose at all?



So what - about that

it all sums of love and affection

it was all gray though

I couldn't get by the emitted melancholy

It breaks me to read between the lines

process what happened, and what is happening

to conclude that our actions do not tally with words

    words that came into the picture eventually



I wish to just not see you

for the moment

so that I could find more of myself

if you have proved me wrong that it is not worthy to fight for




In need of a downpour,
wake me up if you hear the birds chirping to your ears.

State of Being

A sea of calmness within my sight

Feels like I am within the bosom of his warm arms, strong and firm

Reality fluctuates, nothing is eternal

nor consistency should always be retained in control

but when I found you

it all says otherwise



There are just ideas and thoughts of mine that I can not hide

which I tell myself,

they have to be returned to where they were supposed to be

I wish the best of you and me,

lets work and live every moment squeezed.

Love.