Internalization

When I close my eyes

and tried to make sense of your actions

I walked in your shoes

took a stroll at the park

in a classroom

in various spacial containers

see people that you meet

talked to them

see through the window frame of yours


and switched myself to a mode of default

the identifiable one


caused by its high frequency

I often travel to this made-up realm of mine

not guaranteed a fake among the produced mass

least, played as a role of a tranquilizer

I found myself wanting to become you

to fill in your existence

that is absent in my enclosed wonderland


Fly my dear

fly high

never come back again

I'd assume you'd never

Meta-

Suddenly it seems

anything from the universe could be fed on

I have no fantasies built from objects, subjects, anyway you put it

But at this moment, it all seem to have established

Of what I took for granted

of the patterns I have control over

I could engage with them instantly

As if part of me is equally shared with my vicinity



I need not love to survive

you can leave me, either way

high speed, casual,

with a limp on your right leg,

with an empty sight on your pair of eyes

I took myself as a role of being gargantuan,

I shall stomach every single black particle - found between molecules

My dear,

I think I carry a lot of weight

more than you could imagine

I see fear in every pair of eyes I once adored

No - I do not feel pain, nor do I feel afraid about it

I am an irregular

I would have to take it in that way



If you have what it takes

do tell me off that it is not true

but I doubt that you are a man as such

Least is,

I know you well enough



I hope the mere exploration

fulfilled my role as your subject of love

regardless of it being an experimentation of failure

I played my role

and I did enjoy having you around

crafting our existence upon zero



Now

let me just try to erase what was supposed to be progressed among this programmed chaos

we shall return to blank

we shall return to be static

before everything gets to race towards its finishing line

Waves of Warmth

If I were ever to leave tomorrow

would what you do

There would be endless regrets

time has nothing to wait but

it is our image of self that wins the game

so much to talk of our ego

Baby

I am as buoyant as a ball

when I love you

I (will) tell you

and would never want to leave anything behind

If it is of existentialism 

I am designed to fulfil one of that I own

If you disagree

some things are just meant to be

Love,

Lynn

Pent House

Hopelessly romantic:

I remember standing among the crowd

and a not so pretty - tea time setting

They had poultry, soup dishes and dessert


We had to part

I couldn't overcome what was overflowing

neither could you


As a safeguard measure

we hugged

and that's it


Ironically

That was the moment of truth for me

If you felt much lesser

It was just meant to be

Auburn

You shone auburn when
my palm tipped

Caught it precise, I knew
for God doesn't forbid anything at all
it was sensed in the transcript
regardless how much I wanted to fathom from the text

I admire what we have
reflecting upon consequences
feels that I'm functioning like a laggard
but I took in every sense traced
every bit ticked
every absorption possible

Comes the idea of how the universe 'should be' ruled
A peak of procedures of one's cycle
for instance, a matrimony



Everything could vanish in just a zap
but your auburn light you left me with



I'll be kept warm
least until another end begins

System: Corrupted

If it is not an option,

it doesn't exist. No one has to create a subject out of it.

Seize the image they've created. Especially when you are, undeniably,  the targeted victims.





Thus, I begin to miss you in the oddest ways.

This is how my most earnest, vast expression is to be tuned down to a monologue,

as silent as it should sound,

amongst the daily capacity of noise an average human can tolerate.





Geez, I'm jumping into a system now.

Swinging, Hidden Consciousness

Eid Mubarak.

What have I did in this entire span of year?

Oh, I was busy fixing / mending the abstraction of this multi-dimension puzzle I own

Sometimes I thought I was there already

Sometimes I was caught off guard

It felt sulky to be reacting in such manner

There was no Plan B.




I wonder, if I was FV311984 through your eyes, sometimes.

Since the vision was so clear, once when we still clung.



After observations,

I think I am paledophobic.

You may laugh, yes you, you may,

all that you like :)



Least I think,

my emotions were spot on,

because you were there.



Good morning love,

may the sunshine embrace you with my warmth,

as you shall be blessed from now on,

with all that is left over.