I

at times like this

we are bound to call out for help

each of us are ought to have conversations with ourselves in solitude

the human way

we cope


back to being

back to the natural pulse

o how far have we come

what does it mean to take two steps back

the tools of measurement, blunted


yes, we seek to cling

metaphysically

it is only but a pro-longed extension of demise

all things come to an end

and so does a new beginning

childbirth castles in the sky

my senses have being tapped to receive

the possibilities of feeling pain

hormones, nerve endings

confusion, intensity

ants and buzzing tingles

every sign of adaptation

an act of extension —— improvised through


the birth of a soul

the embodiment of introducing life

the gift, being a giver

letting progression run within your body, a temple

the wonders of probability

of hopes and dreams

of resemblance


by nature, an unknown territory

as one squeezes air through lungs

as one tries to relax and remain control

as one being in tuned with the rhythm,
                              grounded with the earth

as one regret decisions made

as one feels ashamed, diminished, flawed

as one is filled with doubt

as each moment is observed to be present, inching

all but to bring a new born to life


juxtaposed by the fundamental reason this decision was made

of expectations and uncertainties

it is outside of a self, for such calling

if one doesn't outsmart one's self

this rule of the circle of life 

O child

love is where all it begin

as one honours her journey

of one called childbirth



my mother might be short of words and expression

no matter how much she tries

she still loves

Wales

I deem myself a super-romantic

leashed for the longest time

my heart flutters effortlessly

as sometimes, I would admire about such trait

it will take me faraway

perhaps unnecessarily having extras captured 

the amplification of an emotion echos

like a bat in the cave

in the cave

cave

I would recreate debris

from assumed remnants 

and decorate them with more layers

adorn with care

building my precious little world -

until I actually get there

kind of mental

in reality, it's physical 

when it takes place

it usually comes with a fragrance

and I am pretty sure of this calling

Wales

coins & dollars

On a beautiful afternoon, as I headed to the counter to order somethin' sweet

you popped up 90 degrees, on my left

in black, solo


a girl friend asked if this was my type

long lost gf, to be precise

our conversation of the open sky landed on that

a certain degree of liberalism of the yellow skin



then you come close with the coins and coloured notes in hand

a degree of difficulty of having them managed

cling and a clang

they dropped all over

that was pretty

a pretty sight



up till you picked you order

and left a note on the bench

I'm pretty sure I'm helpless and couldn't be involved

but to send an angel to remind



because, I told her

when you're actually attracted to someone

you become helpless, always

from behind

from behind sits a young light

position guarded

like a hawk, wings spread

wide angled lens


next to it, sat a fairy

laughing in its space

funny what was discovered

glow and transcend

a spatial relationship formed

north east, south west

beep





it was but the mere seconds that both looked eye to eye

as if you were too a fairy, and I, a hawk

our wings flutter

to a silent conversation

until we say our goodbyes



p/s our hugs were filled

fondle

my breath comes with a slight tint of unjust

for I've never known how to let you go

   you always seem to be easily reached

   a constant, a resemblance

   a moon, an orbit

at ease, you make me feel

each word you say

each prayer you pray




hardly come by




it was love that brought us together

albeit parted by a string of odds

streams will still take its course to the ocean

the world will still take its course to collapse

I can only wish to be as still as a giant

sitting by next to you



sending myself sailing to the sea

where you send yourself off with a will

fishman

I went out to the open sea today

I went out to fish

I went out to face the arbitrary mood swings of what she's going through

I was surprised that I suppressed this little

or rather, I've accepted hurdles to be part of the process


the waves weren't too choppy

just about the right temperature

pillar 36 wasn't our call, but where we were dropped off

just as the school of yellow tail catfish we encountered one after another


the baits we cut and attached

the rising tide

the storm that started up north, then down south

to be sheltered from a pondok

to be sheltered from the bridge I take, every single time I head home

to see the sea birds and little fishes, part of the system

to see floating trash problems often talked about, with a heartache


to smell like sea-salt and sweat

to smell like fish on my fingertips

to play with jellyfishes,gently

to keep my hat on the head when the wind was strong

to imagine anything falling into the sea, myself included

to feel the sun after the rain

to feel heat, reflected from the sea

to be mindful of basic resources like water


to calmly fish a fish out of confident intuition

to make wrong judgement of pulses gauged from the current of the waves

to wind the reel like a clumsy potato

to climb up and down on the little boat

or just being on the surface of the sea, of water



my senses, they overlap

doesn't matter if it was my first or last

it was my present